Ivan (one of the visionaries)'s Testimony
The first thing we did this morning was go to the area behind the church for a talk from Ivan. He spoke in Croatian, but there are translators translating real time over the radio, so we bought these portable radios and tuned into the English station.Interesting fact about Ivan: Ivan actually lives in the U.S. half the year because married Miss Maryland and they want their kids to be educated in the U.S.
Ivan talked about first encountering Mary and his experience with Her, and the main themes of the message. It was really fascinating hearing him talk about it, and even more so that he confessed that he struggles with the messages as well. Part of me thought it must be easy if you get to talk to the Heavenly Mother every day, but it seems that he struggles both with the normal things we struggle with, and something special from his experience.
He said it's really difficult after he has the apparition, because "When Our Lady comes, every day She brings a piece of Heaven. Every day after the apparition, I need hours by myself to come back to the reality of this world...if you were to see Her, you wouldn't find this world as interesting anymore."
He shared some of the following messages from Mary:
"Humanity is in great danger. It is a danger to itself."
"Today's world cannot give you peace. Peace can be found in God only."
"Dear Children, if you are strong, the Church will be strong; if you are weak, the Church will be weak. You are the living Church."
"The mass should be the center of our lives. To attend Holy Mass is to meet Jesus and be with Him."
On Prayer:
"Don't pray with words - pray with the heart. Don't pray mechanically or out of tradition. Pray with love and out of love. Meet with Jesus and talk to Him. Prayer should be having rest with the Lord. After, you will be filled with peace and joy."
"If you desire to pray better, pray more. Praying more is a personal choice; praying better is a grace."
"Dear children, do not say that you do not have time for prayer. Time is not the problem. The problem is love. If you love someone, you will always have time for them."
Ivan said we must fast in order to purify ourselves and strengthen our spirit. He said we must forgive ourselves and then forgive others, and that until we do both of these things, we cannot be healed. Once we do both of these things, the Holy Spirit can enter into our hearts.
He also said we must not just talk about the messages and peace, but we must start living peace. He said Mary instructs us to "Be the living sign; the sign of the living faith."
Patrick's Testimony
We were going to walk up Apparition Hill today, but it was raining out, so we went out to "The Castle" instead.We drove up to this place, and I was in awe. When I heard it was called the Castle, I pictured a house with one little turret or something. I didn't imagine that it would be so enormous and look like a real castle:
So we go inside the grounds of this castle (which just keeps GOING and is still under construction!) and we meet Nancy, and let me tell you, Nancy was like sunshine on today's rainy day. She was wearing an apron, in the middle of cooking, and hugging some people goodbye when we came in, and then she hugged all of us hello and told us how happy she was to see us, and she sounded so genuine and all I could think was "I just MET this woman!"
She was hugging and kissing everyone and just saying "Isn't God so wonderful?!?" and I can honestly say I didn't know what to do. I was in shock over this modern day castle and in shock over this woman who was so obviously full of love and God's grace. You might be curious as to what Nancy and Patrick do and why they built this castle, but I'd like to tell the rest of the story first, so hold on tight...
I spent maybe 5 minutes in Nancy's presence and I was sorely disappointed to leave it. She handed out a stack of prayer cards with Mary's face on it (blessed by Our Lady yesterday at the apparition) to everyone and told them to take as many as we wanted, and proceeded to tell a story about some saint (or maybe her sister?) who was offered her pick of dolls and said "I want ALL of them!" And Nancy told us not to be shy and to take as many of the prayer cards as we want because Our Lady would want us to have them.
Unfortunately (but not surprisingly), Nancy had other responsibilities to attend to, so she bade us goodbye and we went inside this little chapel to hear Patrick's story:
Patrick grew up in Canada and told us how he was at a Catholic school and went to tryout for the football team, but the coach pointed him out in front of everyone and said "You can't play on the football team, you don't even pay to go to school here." Apparently, Patrick's dad was unemployed and on welfare, and he was attending school for free because they were so poor. Patrick said that was the day he stopped believing in God. He said he couldn't believe that a God existed if this Catholic coach at this Catholic school would do something like that.
Shortly after, he ended up dropping out of school entirely. He got a job washing cars, and later he started selling the cars. He ended up being a really good salesman and said he quickly rose as the top salesman at this dealership. Eventually, he ended up owning two dealerships of his own, and he said sales were really good. He had found a ton of success, but God was nowhere to be seen in his life.
He had about 28 salesmen working for him between the two dealerships, and he said on an especially good day, he would take them all to the bars until 4am or so. He said, "Do you know how much it costs to take 28 men out to the bar until 4am? Two divorces."
He said he was living a totally God-less life, and that his business was his god.
He has four kids, and when they would ask him about God, he would take cash out of his pocket and hand it to them and say "This is god."
His youngest son came back from school one day and said he had been baptized in the Anglican church. Patrick told him he can't be Anglican because he's Catholic and his son said "You've never taken us near a catholic church." He realized he was right and responded, "So you're Anglican? Fine, I don't care what you are."
Later, his Anglican son was kicked out of school for doing drugs. His older son was an alcoholic and his daughter got married at 17...then ended up having three divorces. When he asked her what she thought she was doing, she said "I'm doing what you did."
He said his 4th kid's immorality was so off-the wall he can't even talk about it. When he asked "Why are you living like this?" His child said "Because I never had a father."
He met Nancy, who was working as a hot-shot lawyer at the time, and he said they were a "power couple." They lived together for 6 years and then one day decided they should get married, so the next day they signed their marriage certificate in a helicopter above a mountain in British Columbia. He said he was wearing a white tux and felt like James Bond, haha.
A few days later, Nancy (who is from Croatia), said that she didn't "feel" married and wanted to get married in the Catholic church. Nancy went to get permission from the Bishop to marry Patrick in a Catholic church, which included pulling a file which officially annulled his first marriage (due to adultery) and another file which showed that his second marriage was never valid in the Church's eyes. Nancy took the permission from the Bishop to her local priest, who said "I will marry you since the Bishop okay'd it, but I will also tell you Nancy - you should NOT marry this man. He is the worst case I've ever seen. He will never change. Don't do it."
They got married in a croatian church called "The Immaculate Heart of Mary."
He said he made every promise that they asked of him when he got married. "I was a car salesman - a professional promiser! I made any promise they wanted me to. And I broke them all the very next day."
At some point in their marriage, Nancy's brother sent them a book called "The Messages of Our Lady at Medjugorje." Patrick handed it off to Nancy and she handed it back to him and said "Here you go my pagan husband, YOU throw it away so that it's on YOUR conscience."
He decided he would read one message and then throw it away, so then he wouldn't feel as guilty. He flipped through and found the shortest message he could.
The message said: "I call you to conversion. For the last time."
Upon reading those two lines, Patrick immediately believed that the messages were real; He saw his two feet firmly planted in Hell and he was terrified.
He dragged Nancy to a conference about Medjugorje and the priest there told him to consecrate his children to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. He heard himself say, "Blessed Mother, take my kids, and, Blessed Mother, You be the parent that I never was, because I'm a total failure.”
He learned the main themes of the Messages of Medjugorje and decided to take action in his life:
1. Pray the Rosary - he started praying the rosary every day
2. Fast - Mary said that praying the rosary and fasting could stop wars, and he realized that his household was a warzone. A war on drugs, a war on alcohol, and a war on divorce. He started fasting for 24 full hours on Wednesdays and Fridays and said "You should see me at 5 minutes to midnight just holding the refrigerator open and counting down!" haha
3. Go to mass - for the first time in 30 or so years, he started going to Mass
4. Go to confession
After living in mortal sin for 30 years, he went to confession and confessed everything. He said when the priest told him "I absolve you of your sins" he was absolutely amazed. He thinks that confession is the most powerful thing on Earth and that God has given us priests as an instrument of his mercy, but too many people presume God's mercy. Too many people don't come clean before it's too late, and they call for a priest as they lay dying, but they had their whole lives to confess and shouldn't have waited until it was too late.
"God's arms were open for 30 years. I was the one who said 'no.' We blame God, but its our own fault."
Patrick's oldest son saw him praying the rosary and said something stirred inside him. Six months later, he called and told his dad he has quit drinking and got a job as a fireman.
His younger son stopped doing drugs and went back to school. He got an MBA and is now a catholic schoolteacher.
His daughter came to him broken and admitted to drowning the three divorces in alcohol. He handed her a rosary and told her to start praying. She went back to school, got her nursing degree, and completely changed her life.
“The divorce is gone – the alcohol is gone – the drugs are gone – from someone who started to pray.” Our Lady said that when you consecrate your kids to the Immaculate Heart, they will be saved. Another layer to the story: Patrick's own mother prayed the rosary for him for 48 years and saw nothing. One day, he went home to Canada and took his mother to Mass. She cried, "The black sheep is home; the prodigal son has come home!"
Patrick is an amazing storyteller - using props and people and working the crowd like a comedian. When he talked about his daughter (who is named Michelle - my sister's name), he asked me to come up and he held my hand and talked about her choices and her struggles and he gave me the rosary he was holding throughout the talk and told me to keep it. He also gave me some advice; he said "When you meet a boy and he wants to take you out, you ask him one thing. You ask him: 'Where's your rosary?' Because if a man has a rosary, he's a good man and you can trust him."
Definitely not something I have tried before haha...
Patrick and Nancy ended up selling everything and moving to Medjugorje. He said "Mary saved my life and my children's lives. I want to be her neighbor." But he admitted that they had never been there and didn't even know where it was on the map!
So about 15 years ago, they moved to Medjugorje and started building this castle. They welcome anyone and everyone to come visit, but the main purpose is to house men and women who are discerning whether they should become a priest or a nun. They also have a retreat for priests and for youths. What an amazing thing!
I didn't find out why they decided to build the structure like it's a castle, but all that I could think the entire time was 'These people are literally building the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth - both physically and spiritually.'
The Community of Cenaco
Later in the afternoon, we went to Cenaco, which is sort of like a rehabilitation community for drug addicts. Only, there aren't any doctors or nurses or medications, just prayer, hard work, and community.Cenaco began because a little old Italian nun, Mother Elvira saw young kids struggling and wanted to help them, but was told that only nurses and doctors can help them.
She accepted that response, but began praying a Novena (a nine day prayer) to ask God to help her see what she could do. When the Novena ended, she prayed another. Then another. She prayed the Novena for nine years and then one day was given the keys to a rundown house in Italy. The only thing not broken or busted inside the house was a statue of the Virgin Mary, which Mother Elvira took as a sign that Our Lady gave Her blessing. She looked at the rundown house and saw the potential it had - just like she saw the potential in the broken youth she invited in.
So people started coming, and both the government and families tried to offer her money and she refused the money every time. The men who came worked with her to rebuild the house and they relied completely on donations - of food, of tools, etc. There were about 50 people living in the house and it was almost entirely rebuilt when Mother Elvira began wondering if this was all that God wanted of her. But then two more houses were donated.
Today, Cenaco has over 60 houses, and they didn't buy a single one. The people that come to Cenaco build and create everything. Those first 50 rebuilt the house and began rebuilding their lives.
Two men gave us their own personal testimony. Daniel was from Detroit, and he said Cenaco is not like other rehab - it's a family. It's completely free and people can come and go as they please. He said they call it a "school of life."
They start every day with prayer and breakfast, and then they work all day. The philosophy is that it's not the drugs that are the problem, the drugs were an escape from the problems. As soon as they get their, they are assigned a "Guardian Angel" - someone who has been there a while and who immediately starts to ask questions and try to dig into their history to learn about their personal wounds and afflictions of the heart.
In the first year, they get rid of all the bad. In years 2-3, they replace the bad with good. After that, they transmit the experience to others. Daniel said one of the reasons it is most effective is because they all help each other through and they all know what each other are experiencing, because they've been there.
They also learn trades that some of them then use later on to support their lives outside the community.
"It's a monastery for the prayer, a tradehouse for the work, and a fraternity for the friendship."
Daniel also said there are female houses, and many of the men and women end up becoming priests and nuns. Due to this, Mother Elvira now has her own order of nuns, and Pope John Paul II said once "I can always pick out the nuns of the Cenaco because they're the only ones with tattoos!"
The last thing I'll say about Cenaco is that they have a very beautiful logo (below). It was Mother Elvira's vision - the Resurrected Christ is in the center, because Jesus should be the center of all of our lives - 24 hours a day (there are 24 rays of light shining behind Him). He is pulling Adam and Eve out of their graves of sin, and you may notice that He is pulling them, not the other way around. Everyone in the picture is gazing at Christ (because he should be our focal point) except King Solomon. King Solomon is looking at his father, King David, who is looking at Jesus. This is to symbolize that in a family, the son takes direction from his father, but the father should take his cues from the Lord.
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| The craziest part of this? It was painted by 2 construction workers, a truck driver, and a graffiti artist!!! |
One of the reasons I came to Medjugorje was to find rest. Turns out, I'm not actually getting a lot of that...but I am learning so much and I can feel myself getting closer to Our Lady and Our Savior. It is incredible and overwhelming being here.
I keep wondering, what if the whole world was like Medjugorje?
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